


Accidents Happen

by gadgetronic



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Kurapika has regrets, Leorio's dick shrivels, M/M, they're in love that's all you need to know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 08:44:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12980379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gadgetronic/pseuds/gadgetronic
Summary: Kurapika and Leorio both let something slip.-----“We could go sight seeing. Or watch TV. Or take a nap. Or make out. Or go shopping. Or I could study and you could read your nerd book.” Eyes to the ceiling, he blinks. “That’s all I’ve got. Oh, or we could spar, but I think you’ll kick my ass with no reservations, so I’ll pass.”Kurapika stares at him, mouth slightly agape. And stares. And just keeps on fucking staring. “What? Do I have something on my face?” Leorio drags a hand across his mouth. “Use your words, please.”The blonde raises his eyebrows to the sky and, in an eloquent display of embarrassment, flushes. He brings his hands up for air quotes and chokes out in a pathetic mock Leorio voice, “Or make out.”





	Accidents Happen

**Author's Note:**

> 1) This fic is a gift for my sweet sweet friend Danny based on this joke we came up with  
> 2) We call Kurapika "Kraps" affectionately instead of Pika, so that's what you'll see in the fic.  
> 3) This is set like. A little after the Phantom Rouge movie. That's why Kraps had no eyes

“Oi, Kraps!” Leorio fwumps his annoying ass on the couch in their small hotel room. He lets his gangly limbs sprawl out all over it, taking up the entirety of the loveseat. Kurapika’s soul twitches at the nickname and the indecency. “Whaddya say we hang out or something? The rugrats are out for the day, and we never get time to ourselves.”

Kurapika sighs, looking up from the book he was (trying to) read. “You make it sound like we’re a married couple and Killua and Gon are our children. Also, don’t call me Kraps, you geriatric.”

Leorio stares at him. He holds up a finger. “One, that’s true and you should accept your fatherhood,” Another finger. “Two, they can’t both be our children, because they’re in love,” Both fingers swivel into a point at Kurapika. “You and I both know it, and you think Kraps is funny, so fuck you.”

Kurapika lets out a small smile. “I guess you have a point. Did you have something in mind for the day, grandpa? Would you like to play bingo? Shuffleboard, maybe?” He closes his book and sets it on the desk, turning in his chair to face Leorio. He almost has the audacity to feel bad for teasing Leorio for looking well beyond his years, but Kurapika just can’t help but rise to the bait.

 

The ragtag group of boys had been traveling together for a short while. After getting Kurapika’s and Gon’s eyes back, the two youngest kids had decided to stick around for a little while, wanting to explore the city. Upon stating their intentions, Leorio had grumbled out something about needing a study break anyway, and now here he was. They had all chipped in for a single hotel room, which made it hard to shake the feeling of domestic fatherhood.

Gon and Killua had immediately ditched their stuff and ran out the door, with Leorio shouting a “Be safe! Keep in touch!” down the hall to the speedsters. Killua had given some snarky retort like “Use protection, old man” and Leorio had stomped back into the room, mumbling a plan to get him back.

“They’re like, 13,” Kurapika had said. “Respect your elders, Kraps. When Killua gets back he's gonna get it!” Was Leorio’s triumphant response. Kurapika had retired to his book, and Leorio had wandered into the bathroom, and that was that. Or so he thought.

 

Leorio glares, his eyes squinting in righteous fury. "You're a prick. I'm gonna use the stick up your ass to play shuffleboard." He sighs, leaning back and scratching the back of his neck as he gives a good hearty hmmmm. “We could go sight seeing. Or watch TV. Or take a nap. Or make out. Or go shopping. Or I could study and you could read your nerd book.” Eyes to the ceiling, he blinks. “That’s all I’ve got. Oh, or we could spar, but I think you’ll kick my ass with no reservations, so I’ll pass.”

Kurapika stares at him, mouth slightly agape. And stares. And just keeps on fucking staring. “What? Do I have something on my face?” Leorio drags a hand across his mouth. “Use your words, please.”

The blonde raises his eyebrows to the sky and, in an eloquent display of embarrassment, flushes. He brings his hands up for air quotes and chokes out in a pathetic mock Leorio voice, “ _Or make out_.”

Brown eyes go wide. “Oh nuts,” Leorio groans, hand covering his face in an instant. “Oh geez. Oh great. Oh man, I said that out loud? With my own voice? Fuck,” he sputters, shaking his head. He looks up at Kurapika and makes a pained face. “Pretend I didn’t say that? Like, I definitely never said that. I was not thinking or saying that.”

Tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, Kurapika blinks. This is physically painful. It’s even more awkward than being near Hisoka, or talking to Hisoka, or even knowing Hisoka. It’s visceral. “Uhm, I mean, okay, but I woudn’t…” He stares at the floor. How did this fucking happen? “Be opposed, I guess.” Excellent.

The tension in the room is so thick Kurapika wants to choke on it and die. _Thank God Killua and Gon aren’t here_ , he thinks, counting his blessings. He chances a look at Leorio. _Oh for fuck’s sake_.

Leorio looks like he just won the lottery. “Seriously? That’s not a joke, right? Your jokes are weird. This better not be a Kraps Joke with no punchline.” When Kurapika nods at _seriously_ and furrows his brow at _your jokes are weird_ , Leorio smiles big. His whole damn face lights up, and he pumps a fist through the air. “Score!”

Kurapika thinks maybe he should back out, now, immediately. Even in the haze of awkward conversation, however, he can admit to himself that he thinks Leorio is cute. He won’t allow himself to think any words other than that. And he finds him endearing, and values his friendship, and thinks he’d make a great doctor, and his hands are really soft and he wraps bandages so carefully and talks so sweetly and kindly and okay maybe he’s just gay for Leorio. _That’s up for debate_ , his own mind says. When Leorio’s face finally turns red from the humiliation of it all, it quips a cheery _No it’s not!_

“So, we have a bed,” Leorio states unhelpfully, gesturing to their shared bed. “And a couch.”

“We certainly do have both,” Kurapika tries. He cringes, inwardly and physically. Pairo is probably laughing his ass off at him from heaven right now. He stands, taking a delicate seat next to Leorio on the couch. He folds his hands in his lap and stares at them.

Leorio waggles his eyebrows and stretches an arm out behind Kurapika. “Say, Kraps, I always thought your earring was really hot.” He winks. He fucking winks. Kurapika is going to short circuit.

“Uhm…thank you, Leorio. Your glasses are ugly, and you look better without them on.” Perfect execution. Where is his flirting award?

The face Leorio makes is so aghast that Kurapika can’t help but giggle – seriously, fucking _giggle_ – and at that Leorio softens. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…I just thought I should be honest, that’s all.”

“It’s okay, really. I know it’s true. And I also know that you’re not as much of a stoic hardass as you think you are.” The taller of the two turns a little and uses his other hand to toy with Kurapika’s hair.

Flustered, Kurapika frowns. “I don’t know what you’re implying, but…” He loses his train of thought to hands in his hair. He blinks, and leans into the touch. “I forget.” A hum starts in the back of his throat.

Leorio snorts. “Are you purring?" The look of utter confusion and embarrassment on Kurapika’s face makes him let out a bark of a laugh. “Oh, man, nevermind, nevermind.” Leorio continues to twirl the blonde hair between his fingers.

They stay like that for a while, relaxed for a quiet moment during their whirlwind travels. Only a few days ago Kurapika had no eyes, had to fight against his former best friend, was forced to remember and relive the trauma of the Troupe. Leorio tightens his arm ever so slightly around Kurapika as he mulls it over. He really can't fathom how someone as strong willed and inspiring as Kurapika could be friends with someone as loud and grating as Leorio, much less be ready to suck face with him. He better start praying or something.

Kurapika turns his head towards Leorio, blinking lazily. He smiles, and Leorio feels part of himself die, because what the fuck. “I’m glad we have time to rest and relax.”

“Me too,” Leorio offers, leaning in and returning the smile. Kurapika’s eyes are a lovely grey, a color that reminds him of the chains that wrap his fingers, of the color of the sky before a rain. Before he can stop himself, he gives Kurapika a chaste kiss and leans back a little.

The blonde looks…well…startled. His eyes are wide and his mouth is a little open, and now his eyebrows are furrowing. Great, was it already horrible?

“Do that again,” Kurapika blurts, and immediately looks surprised at himself. He stares at his hands again. Slowly, he moves one to Leorio’s knee hesitantly. “Uhm, I mean, if you want to.”

Leorio chuckles. “Don’t mind if I do!”

This time, Kurapika meets him in the middle. It’s slow and sweet and makes Leorio want to start crying, holy shit. Kraps brings his other hand up to Leorio’s chest and sighs a little and _wow, gay,_ Leorio’s mind supplies. How helpful. Very observant. THIS is how he passed the Hunter exam.

Kurapika nudges Leorio a bit, and he lets himself sink into the seat cushions. The blonde clambers over him, not at all gracefully, and lifts his tunic over his head and lets it fall to the floor as he straddles Leorio’s lap. Leorio raises an eyebrow, but stays otherwise silent. Kurapika gives him that piercing stare, which would normally freak him out, but he knows the intensity in his gaze is the good kind and not the murder kind, so it just makes him melt and smile goofily instead. Even if his knee is sort of digging into Leorio's side.

Kurapika gives a small smile back and leans down. “You know, we could have been doing this for a while,” He kisses Leorio’s jaw lightly. “You should have said something.” _There was no time, has never been time, how much time is left?_ goes unsaid.

Leorio, currently on another plane of existence, hums. “No offense Kraps, but you terrify me,” Another ghost of a kiss on his neck. Leorio sighs. “You’re just so intense. But it’s hot as fuck, don’t get me wrong.” A laugh breathed into his collarbone. A peck on his cheek. Blonde hair dangling in his face. It’s heavenly.

He can’t take it anymore – he brings his hand up behind Kurapika’s neck and pulls him down slowly, smiling softly. His lips are soft, despite Kurapika not doing a single iota of skin care, or any self care in general. What a bunch of bullshit. Stupid pretty boy.

Kurapika hums his approval and deepens the kiss. Leorio can’t help it – he grins into it, sifting his hands through long blonde hair and bringing his other hand up to Kurapika’s hip. Leorio wriggles his hand under the blonde’s ugly groutfit (seriously why would you wear all grey sweats) and spreads his palm flat on Kurapika’s back. The sound he makes in Leorio’s mouth is probably the 8th deadly sin, and should be forbidden.

“Leorio…” he whispers, pushing his hands up and under Leorio’s hideous dress shirt rather aggressively. _You can’t buy class, Leorio_ , comes into his mind, and he has to stop himself from turning the insult back on his make-out partner. His mother taught him manners, thank you very much.

Leorio opens his eyes a little at the sound of his name, and he looks up into startlingly scarlet wide-open eyes haloed by messy blonde hair.

The look is piercing and sends a shock down his spine. The sound he releases is something between a shriek and a scream, rivaled only by banshees. It’s the most unholy sound he has ever produced, and the entire hotel probably heard it. Gon and Killua probably heard it, wherever their gay date took them. “HOLY FUCK! KURAPIKA, _DUDE!!_ WHAT THE HELL?” he hollers as he jolts beneath the blonde, startling hard enough to knock their foreheads together. After impact, Kurapika loses his balance and let’s out a shocked “AH!” as he tumbles to the floor. 

_I think my dick just fucking shriveled_ , Leorio’s mind sobs.

“Ouch!” Kurapika groans, having been unceremoniously dumped on the floor for no good reason. Landing right on his ass, he flashes Leorio a bewildered look. He looks like a kicked and confused puppy. Leorio immediately feels bad, but also, what in the hell. “What? What’s wrong, Leorio? Did I do something I shouldn't have?”

“Your eyes, man! The eyes! You didn’t tell me they’d turn red when you…” Leorio stops himself. He’s not about to say that shit out loud. Absolutely not. He waves his hands around wildly. “Oh my God. Holy shit. Sorry, I just…wow. That was horrifying. You looked scary as hell! You looked like you were about to fillet me alive!” He holds out a hand to help after they stop moving a mile a minute.

Kurapika blinks a few times, his eyes a normal grey, and he suddenly looks mortified. “Oh my gosh…oh no...I’m so sorry…I didn’t know…” He looks down at his hands. “I promise you were never in any danger. I was definitely not thinking about killing you.” Quite the opposite, actually. He flushes again at the thought. _Not now gay thoughts!_

Leorio offers a weak smile. “It’s okay, really. I’m sorry I knocked you on your ass. It’s just…I’ve seen the way you get when you’re angry, and that’s the only time your eyes turn red, so the association is...strong.” _I thought you were going to rip my dick off_ , he doesn’t say.

Kraps takes his hand and stands, still horrified at his outburst. He scratches at his cheek. “Ah, yeah…” He sits back on the couch gingerly. “Sorry I, uh. Ruined the mood there.”

The pre-med waggles his stupid eyebrows again. “Don’t worry about it, pretty boy. I’m sure we have time for round 2.” Leorio makes fake kissy noises and then has the audacity to grin. Kurapika thwacks him in the shoulder and crosses his arms. Leorio’s offended scoff goes unheard.

“I think we should spend what little remains of our free time being productive,” Kurapika announces, as if he wasn’t just about to suck Leorio’s dick. What a priss. “And _that_ is not productive.”

“I’m going to sleep,” Leorio deadpans, sticking his tongue out at Kraps. He nudges Kurapika off the couch with his foot, ignores the offended “Hey!” and rolls over. “Wake me up when you pick the kids up from school.”

 _I can’t believe I’m a father_ , Kurapika self reflects from the floor. _And a housewife_.


End file.
